Archive for April 2011

Letting go   Leave a comment

My husband’s uncle passed away on Tuesday morning, right after midnight.  It has been a hard couple of days for everyone, and the hardest are ahead of us still. Tomorrow is the visiting hours, and then on Friday, is the funeral service and graveside service.  He wasn’t a very old man, he had just turned 70 a month ago, but he was sick.  He had Alzheimer’s.

My husband grew up in a very close family, which makes me smile.  It makes me smile because I hear all these great stories of when he was little, and I hope that my children have the same close relationships with their family.  My husband comes from a very long line of lobster fishermen, and that’s what he grew up doing.  So there is no question that he is a lobster fishermen, its in his blood, and it makes me wonder if any of his three boys will want to follow in his footsteps.  I know that since my husband grew up on the water, that’s what made his childhood so special, all the memories of him fishing with his grandfather and his uncles and his Dad.  And I know that is why him loosing his Uncle is hitting him so hard.  It hasn’t even been two years since he lost his other Uncle.  It will sound wrong, but with Uncle John, we knew it was coming, he had been sick for a while, and now that he has passed, we know that he is in a better place.  I think that will help my husband say goodbye.  But when his uncle Grover passed away almost two years ago, it was very sudden, and unexpected.  I am not sure that he is over loosing Uncle Grover, and I hope that this doesn’t remind him of it.

While I know that I have only been in my husband’s family for a short 4 years, I still feel like a very important part of the family.  Or at least I feel that way from some of the family.  I found out the hard way that my husband’s uncle had passed away, I got up that morning with the boys, and while I waited for my husband to call and check in from the boat that morning, I hoped on the computer and checked Facebook, and that’s where I saw it, I saw the news in a post from my husband’s cousin.  I didn’t get a message from anyone, and neither did my husband.  He found out from his Dad when he met him that morning to go to haul.  I think if I were him, I would have turned around and come home for the day, but I think him being able to spend the day with his Dad on the water was the best thing for him.

Now what I have a problem with, that probable shouldn’t bother me is that my husband’s ex-wife has asked about coming to the services to pay her respects to the family.  Now I understand that, but what I don’t understand is why she feels it necessary to tell my husband that she doesn’t think I should be there while she is visiting with the family, because it will make her feel uncomfortable.  Guess she never thought of how it would make me feel to have to leave a family gathering with “my family” so that she can be there, oh and did I mention how she wants him to stay there to be there with her? That is bull shit! I don’t agree with it and I am not leaving so that she can come.  If she would like to pay her respect, she can, but I am not leaving my husband in this difficult time, so that she can come in and try to console him.  Maybe I am wrong, but I really don’t care.  She chose to leave the family, they chose for things to be the way they are.  She needs to realize that I am in the family now.

So with that I would just like to say Rest In Peace, Uncle John. Enjoy your time with you father and your brother now! We’ll all see you again someday!

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Posted April 20, 2011 by mytwotornados in family

our first ER trip!   Leave a comment

So over the past week, we have been dealing with a lot of sickness.  Started out last Sunday, when my step son woke up with a low-grade temp.  We gave him some motrin, and that seemed to help, and he just kinda rested for most of the day.  He did a great job not getting in the boys faces and we were very happy that he started to feel better that afternoon.

Monday, when my husband called to talk to his older kids, like he does every night before they go to bed, he found out that his daughter was sick.  Only she wasn’t just sick with a temp, she had a fever and was vomiting.  And by the time the boys went to bed Monday night, Ethan had a low-grade temp.  I gave him some motrin and that seemed to settle him down for the night.  When he got up Tuesday, he still had a temp, so I kept giving him motrin and it seemed to help, but you could tell that he still wasn’t himself.

Well, when Ethan woke up on Wednesday morning, he had soars in his mouth, mostly at the back of his mouth, but a couple on the inside of each of his lips as well.  So I called his doctor, and after finding out we couldn’t get in to see them that day, the nurse I spoke with urged me to take him to the ER. So off we went.  Luckily for me, Jason was home so he could hang out with Nathan while I took Ethan.  We chose to go to the ER closest to us, thinking that it wouldn’t matter which hospital we went to, because we would get answers.  I took him to DECH, which is only about 25 minutes away, instead of driving an hour to MCMH.  Now I wish I had just gone to MCMH instead.

When we got there, we had to wait a few minutes, but the intake nurse came right out to get us.  He was a very nice nurse, but being nice isn’t everything.  He was taking down all of the information I gave him, and when it came time to measure him and weight him, I was blown away, when he didn’t have him stand up straight to get a measurement.  Then he put him on the scale with his thick jacket and sneakers on.  Now, I know I’m just a mom and I have no medical training, but in order to get good measurements and a good weight, wouldn’t you think that you would have the patient stand up straight, maybe even take off the sneakers, and then take off the jacket and sneakers to get a good weight?  Yeah I thought so too.

Then came the awkward conversation about taking his temperature.  He wanted to take Ethan’s temperature in his mouth, which I was absolutely fine with, but I wish he hadn’t gone about it in such a harsh way.  He just shoved the stupid thermometer in Ethan’s mouth, without even looking and almost gagged him.  So I was talking to him, calming him down and I asked if he could just take his temperature under his arm and I was yelled at and told that was not ever an acceptable way to check a temperature.  And I said to him, that was the way that we were taught to take their temperature while they were in the hospital for 108 days when they were born, and he decided to tell me that “they didn’t know what they were doing in the NICU” this is when I should have picked up my son and turned around and walked out the door! But i didn’t I just kept my mouth shut and went on with the exam.  Next came the nice throat swab for what we all thought would be strep throat.

After they did the throat swab, they took us to an exam room, and told me not to let Ethan touch anything.  He was to sit on the bed and behave.  Ok, so this was fun for my almost 3-year-old.  Luckily for me, I had a few toys packed in the diaper bag and I could entertain him.  Within 25 minutes, the doctor on call walked into the room and said his rapid strep test is negative, he just has a “common cold” and walked out of the room.  He NEVER once looked him over, and didn’t even think to ask questions or anything.  I was so mad when I left.  But I took the diagnosis and kept giving him motrin for his temperature, hoping it would break on its own soon!

We saw a little improvement on Thursday, his fever seemed to have broken and he was playing a little bit more.  Well come Friday afternoon, he was saying that his mouth hurt and his fever had come back.  So I called the pediatrician again, and this time they thought we should bring him in on Saturday morning.  Well, within 2 minutes of the exam Saturday morning, the doctor determined that it wasn’t strep throat, this without even doing a test for it, and determined that it was a form of a viral infection.  We got some antibiotics and he should be on the mend soon.  The antibiotics are over 5 days and just twice a day, but just day 2 into the meds, he is already showing signs of improvement.

Because the ER didn’t catch this tho, now we are looking at a possible procedure to drain a lymph node because the infection is in there and it may have turned into an abscess.  Now we need to keep an eye on it, and pray that the antibiotics help him.

I am just saddened to think that had the hospital taken the time to treat my child the way they should have, I feel as though this would not be happening.  We would have been on the antibiotic 3 days earlier and he would be fine.  So please find it in your heart and say a prayer for him, that the antibiotics will fight this and they won’t have to drain the infection out!

Posted April 18, 2011 by mytwotornados in family

My in-laws   Leave a comment

So let me tell you a little bit about my in-laws.  I’ll start by saying that they are wonderful people, and would do anything for anyone.  When the boys were born, and in the hospital for 108 days, there wasn’t a Sunday that went by that my in-laws didn’t make the 4 hour drive to the hospital to visit the boys and Jason and I.  They always made sure that I had everything I needed, as I didn’t come home that often.  They also always made sure that they took us out to eat, just to be sure that we were eating and that we got a good meal that day.  And for that I am forever grateful.

You see, my husband has two sisters.  An older sister who lives the next town over, who is adopted.  The were told early on in their marriage, that they wouldn’t be able to have any kids.  So they started to look into adoption, and after a few years of having my sister-in-law as a foster child, the adoption went thru.  Then much to their surprise, so did my husband.  Now he and his older sister get along great! She is actually the one responsible for naming him Jason, because it was the only boy name she knew 🙂 How cute is that?  The a couple of years after my husband came along, they ended up pregnant again.  My husband’s youngest sister lives in Washington state.  Between the three of them, my husband and his two sisters, there are nine grandchildren.  Four girls and five boys.

Now that I have given you a little insight on my in-laws family, let me tell you what bugs me about them.  They love to visit the kids, especially if someone knows they were doing it.  See above where I mention they visited every Sunday while the boys were in the hospital.  My in-laws live about 10 minutes from my house, and they hardly ever visit my kids.  Now a lot could be said that my husband and I don’t stop by their house with the kids either, but let’s think for a minute how much fun it is for us to take our almost 3-year-old twins there, to a house that isn’t baby proofed at all!! I have to run behind them and take things away from them.  Needless to say, it’s not very enjoyable.  They see my sister-in-law’s three girls at least once a day.  I don’t think a day ever goes by that they don’t see the girls.  Now I’m not saying that they never visit with us, but lets face it, they have been home from “vacation in Washington” for about a month, and they have spent a grand total of maybe 45 minutes with our four kids.

They go to Washington every year either in February or March.  And they go for three weeks.  Then in either July or August, my sister in law and her two boys come “home” for a couple of weeks to visit, and during that time, my in-laws don’t do much except spend every second of the time with them.  Now don’t get me wrong, I understand what its like to miss family that is not around all the time, my parents live four hours away, and we see them more than we see my in-laws.

I guess what I am saying is that I don’t understand how they can have nine grandchildren, seven of which live within 15 minutes of their house and they can’t be bothered to stop in and see them.  My husband and I go back and forth about this, because he hates that his parents live so close by, but they never see the kids, when my parents live four hours away and they are here every chance they get.  It just bothers us so much, that even when my husband says something to them, they change for about a week, they’ll stop in a couple of times then they go right back to their old ways.  So I decided that the next time my husband had to work on a saturday when we had the older kids, that I would not let my mother in law take the kids for me, because it wasn’t fair to the boys.  Well my plan backfired big time.

Turns out that this weekend is the first saturday my husband has worked in about a month or two.  So wouldn’t you know it that Nathan needed to go to the doctor today, and the only time I could get an appointment was way to early in the day for me to drive 25 miles to pick the kids up before hand? Yup it did.  So I had to go against my better judgement, and let me mother in law have the kids this morning.  Normally I would have just picked the kids up when we got back into town from Nathan’s appointment, but today we had a birthday party to go to for my youngest niece.  So I just went to the party with the twins and I brought the big kids home with me from there.  So she picked the kids up at 9, had them till the party started at noontime.  Now don’t you think that since she knew that the party was only going to have birthday cake and ice cream that maybe she would have fed the kids before hand? Nope she didn’t.  so when we got home from the party at almost 2 this afternoon, they were starving!! I was so mad!

So I have rambled on long enough, I didn’t really intend to, but hopefully you can understand where I was going with this one!

Posted April 10, 2011 by mytwotornados in family

where does the time go?   Leave a comment

In 24 days, my babies will be 3! It’s so hard to believe that the boys will be turning 3 so soon.  It honestly seems like we just got them home from the hospital and now they are almost 3!  We are planning a pretty big birthday party for them again this year.  Seems like we have every year, and now I wonder if we’ll ever have just a small birthday party for them.  Their first birthday was a HUGE party, because it was more of a party for my husband and I.  We had kept the boys to ourselves for the most part, since they had been born so early and we didn’t want to risk them getting sick during that first year.  It was so much fun to kind of show them off, and everyone enjoyed seeing them.  We didn’t have a theme for their birthday, well I guess it was just a “first birthday” theme party.

Last year for their 2nd birthday, we did it big again! This year they had Elmo & Cookie monster cakes and that was pretty much the theme for their party.  That day was also our first march of Dimes walk with the boys.  We walked with them that morning and then had their birthday party that afternoon, and boy was it a busy day! We were also chosen as the ambassador family for the March of Dimes walk in our area last year, and it was very fun! We reached our team goal, and it encouraged me to walk every year from now on with the boys.  If it weren’t for the March of Dimes, I may not be planning a 3rd birthday party for May 1st every year!

So that leads me to their upcoming 3rd birthday.  We are going all out again this year, I know your surprised! This year, we are doing their party a little late, as we are going to be out-of-town for their actual birthday.  We are heading back to Portland, to walk in the March of Dimes walk along with some of the NICU staff that helped the boys and I out so much.  We aren’t walking with their team, but we are walking as “the Faulkingham Twins” again.  I think we will probably walk with that name every year, because it’s who we are!  The walk is on the boy’s birthday again, so it will be a good way of giving back.  After our walk, we are taking the boys to the hospital were they were born, to visit with the NICU staff.  Every time we go to Portland, we stop at the hospital to see them.

Back to their party….The theme this year is going to be Buzz Lightyear.  The boys LOVE anything to do with Toy Story, so its only fitting that they have a birthday party with that theme.  We have rented a Moon Bounce for their party, which I think they will absolutely love, and I know that the older kids and their friends will definitely enjoy the Moon Bounce.  I have also hired our photographer to take their 3 year pics before the party, and she is going to stay and take pics during the party, so I don’t have to run around with my camera, I can actually just enjoy the day with the boys and our friends and family for a change.  Their birthday parties always seem so rushed to me, and I think it’s because I am always busy trying to take the pictures and get things going.

I will post pics from the March of Dimes walk and their birthday party as the come.  I am so looking forward to what the next year holds for us, even tho I know that after their 4th birthday next year, we’ll be getting them ready to start pre-K in the fall!

If you would like to sponsor us for our March for Babies walk, you can go click on this link, any support that you would like to give us is greatly appreciated!  http://www.marchforbabies.org/personal_page.asp?pp=3209012&ct=4&w=4516058&u=twintornados

 

Posted April 6, 2011 by mytwotornados in Uncategorized