what hurts the most   Leave a comment

So everyone makes mistakes in their lives, most people learn from them. I have made plenty of mistakes in my life, none of which I am proud of, but I have learned a lesson from every single one of them. However, certain people in my life that are supposed to be family have chosen recently to throw those mistakes back in my face.  Hurt doesn’t even begin to describe how I am feeling right now.

The first person to throw a certain mistake back in my face was my Aunt. She chose to do this to get back at me for me catching her lying about my health to my family.  You see, she took it upon herself to tell people in my family that the lump I had removed from my breast was cancerous and that I was refusing treatments.  This is not the case and when I confronted her about it, she chose to throw my mistakes back at me, knowing how badly it would hurt me. I know of plenty of mistakes that this Aunt has made that I could have very easily thrown back at her, but I chose to walk away and no longer have anything to do with her.  I do not consider her family any longer, and right now, I am ok with that.  I have so much going on in my own life right now, that I can’t hold the people who are hurting me close to my heart. I wish that things were not the way that they are, but to top it off, this same Aunt chose to threaten me with calling the cops on my if I ever step foot on her property again, which is fine, I never plan to, and I can live my life without any contact with her.  Just stinks that it had to come to that.

Next comes my Brother in Law.  He wasn’t even part of my family when I made the mistake he chose to throw back at me.  It drives me crazy that when he and my Sister couldn’t follow through with a promise, he took it upon himself to dig into my past and hurt me with it. My sister sees nothing wrong with what my BIL has done and she will not talk to me, return my phone calls or text messages.  I have tried to email her, and even sent her messages on good old facebook, but it doesn’t matter, I was in the wrong as far as she is concerned.  She isn’t perfect and neither is he, but you didn’t see me throwing things back in their faces.

I just don’t understand why my family would choose to throw my mistakes back in my face, when in fact they have nothing to do with them. They didn’t have anything to do with the mistakes I made. I put myself in this position and I am dealing with it every day.  I guess that is why it hurts so bad.  And I don’t think that they will ever understand how damaging it is, to have them throw things right in my face! Maybe some day things will get back to normal with them, but I am not holding my breath. I can’t, it hurts too bad!

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Posted April 1, 2012 by mytwotornados in family, Me

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