Archive for May 2012

Broken Hearts   Leave a comment

So things here have been kind of busy lately, and I should be blogging more, but life it getting in the way.  I have a post almost ready about the boys 4th birthday party and about a few other things, I am just waiting to get some pictures back from our photographer.  And I should have them by the end of the week, first of next week, so it’s coming, I promise.

So we had my husband’s older kids on Monday this week. Things were going great, I was playing with the boys and T was watching tv with my husband and H was writing a note to a friend.  All normal things that happen when we have the kids, so I didn’t think anything of it.  I noticed that while H was writing, she kept looking over at me and staring at me, giving me dirty looks, but again, nothing out of the ordinary.  Well when she got done writing her letter, she put it on the drier, which is what she does with stuff she wants to take home.  I forgot it was there and so did she…

Tuesday when I was getting the laundry switched over, a folded piece of paper fell on the floor.  I didn’t notice it at first, but Ethan & Nathan were pretty excited cause they found “a yetter” which translates to a letter.  I unfolded the paper to find the letter that H had written to her friend at school.  I thought it was cute at first, I remember being a little girl writing letters to my friend and bringing them to school the next day.  But what wasn’t cute was what the letter said at the bottom.  Right before she signed her name it said “I hate Andrea” and that was followed up with “she hurts me!”

My heart broke immediately.  I have known for a while that she has been angry at me.  I just don’t know why.  My first thought was to just throw it away, and my second thought was, well lets not do that, just in case she does it again and the note gets into the wrong hands. So when my husband got home from work, I was in tears, and he asked what was wrong, all I could do was give him the note.  He of course was upset as well.

We saw T & H at T’s baseball game last night and Jason asked T if he thought it was true, and he said “absolutely not, Andrea never hurts us.  She might speak to us if we are doing something wrong, but she has never touched us.” And he followed that up with “I love Andrea, she wouldn’t hurt me or Sis.” Which again, broken my heart but for different reasons.  Well when H went over by Jason, who was helping out in the dug out, she spoke to me on the way by, but only to get my attention so she could stick her tongue out at me on the way by.  When she got to Jason, he pulled her aside and said, “we found your note” and she was all smiles, asking if he brought it to her, so she could give it to her friend at school today and he told her NO! She got upset and started crying because it was her letter and not ours and we couldn’t keep it.  She carried on for a few minutes about that, before Jason said “I read it, and so did Andrea.” She just looked at him and when he confronted her about it, she said “I didn’t write that” and she got a little upset with him.  She told him that I must have written it myself because she didn’t do it.

So tonight when Jason calls the kids to say goodnight like he does every night, he is going to talk to their Mom about it.  We certainly are not giving the letter back to her, because if it got into the wrong hands I would be in so much trouble.   Which i believe deep down inside, that’s what she wants.  She doesn’t want her father and I together and she isn’t afraid to say it.  If I thought it would solve any problems, I would pack my boys up for the weekend, and head to my Mother’s house.  But that would be telling her she won, and that’s not what I want to do.  She needs to be told that it is not OK to lie about things like this.  We can’t punish her for not liking me, but we can punish her for lying about me hurting her.  I swear on my own kids lives that I have NEVER laid a finger on that child!

My heart is broken because she is my step daughter and I love her, and there is nothing I can do to make her like me.  I just don’t know what to do anymore, but I do know that under no circumstances, will I EVER be left alone without her, I won’t even sit in the living room with her at my house now, without my husband in the room, because I don’t need to be accused of child abuse.

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Posted May 30, 2012 by mytwotornados in Me, step kids

They have changed so much!   2 comments

So over the past few months as the twins 4th birthday got closer I have noticed that they are changing.  Most of these changes are for the better, but with the attitudes that they have some how gained since they turned 4, they aren’t all good changes.

Ethan seems so much more grown up to me now.  He knows the words to almost all of the songs we sign, loves to help me in the kitchen when I am cooking and he even know how to fold some of the laundry! Before I know it they will be going off to college and I’ll wonder where the past 18 years have gone. He is sleeping a lot better at night now, and suddenly even though he only weights about 36/37 pounds, he has the height of a 5-year-old! He is very busy, never slows down at all, or I don’t think he does anyway. He can write his name and he is constantly making us cards. He thinks every day should be a birthday or mother’s day, which is fine with me until he asks for cake and ice cream every night after supper, and then gets up set with me when I tell him we don’t have any. He is even playing with big boy toys now.  Gone are the days of the wooden puzzles that are just shapes and animals, he has moved on to 48 piece puzzles, and he does NOT want any help putting them together. He absolutely loves playing with legos and of course all the transformers and power rangers he can find. Especially if they are his step brothers that he knows he should be playing with. He is def. still a Momma’s boy. Although he is starting to lean a little more towards Daddy, but when something is wrong or he needs something, all he wants is me!

Nathan is also so much more grown up to me now. He doesn’t sign all the songs like his brother does, he is more of a listener when it comes to music, but when he gets something watch out, he doesn’t let anyone tell him different.  His personality has changed so much in the past few months.  He also loves to do the laundry with me, and he especially loves to help me cook, even more than Ethan. His favorite toys are all his brother’s toys.  He loves all the transformers and power rangers, and anything pirate related.  He has always been my “thinker” which i love.  He still loves to cuddle with his Momma, but only if his Daddy isn’t home.  He is still very much a Daddy’s boy, and I’m OK with that.  I love seeing the bond that he has with my husband, its like nothing I have ever seen before.  It’s a different bond then he has with any of the other kids. I’m not sure if its cause he is Daddy’s baby or what, but they def. have a connection like no other.

Up until recently when I looked at my boys I still saw them as these little tiny babies that were born way too soon! There are times that I look at them and I see them still laying in their isoletes fighting for their lives, and then there are times like today where they are playing with the transformers that they got for their birthday and getting along so nicely that I see them as 4 year olds, who look so grown up to me! I wish that time could slow down just a little bit. I’m not ready for my babies to grow up!

Posted May 15, 2012 by mytwotornados in Ethan, Me, Nathan

Visitors…   2 comments

So my parents are coming up this weekend to see us. I can’t wait to spend some time with my Mom. And even though she will have to leave around lunch time on Sunday we will still get to spend some time on Mother’s Day together, which I’m pretty excited about.

I told the boys the other day that they had 3 more sleeps till Meme Kathy (that’s my Mom) will be here when they get up in the morning. They were both so excited.  Lets face it, they love to spend as much time with her as they can, and when she is here that is who they want. They don’t want anything to do with me or my husband, which is a nice break for us!

When I told them just 3 more sleeps, Nathan looked at me with a tear in his eye and said “how many seeps till we see Meme Nore? (my mother in law’s name is Lenore and this what the boys call her) All I could say to him was “I’m not sure baby, but I’m sure you’ll see here again soon.”  I think I have said before on here that Jason’s parents live right here in town, but they hardly ever stop by.  It drives both of us nuts.

Chances are pretty good that because my in-laws know that my parents will be here this weekend then they will stop in and get frustrated when the boys don’t go to them. They will actually ignore them if they do come by, because its their time with Meme Kathy. I feel bad when that happens, but honestly, they could stop in a little bit more.  They both go right by our house every day, yet they never stop in.  They get to see the step kids twice a week right now, because my step son has two baseball games a week.  And they wouldn’t miss out on the chance to watch a game. And I think its great that they want to go to all of the games, and if it weren’t for those games, then they wouldn’t see the step kids either.

My problem lies with the fact that every time I see my in-laws or talk to them on the phone I have to bite my tongue, because I want to yell at them “your missing out on seeing the kids grow up” or “do our kids matter to you?” the step kids are old enough to see that they never see them, and it bothers them, but they don’t say anything about it.  Now the boys are of the age where they speak their mind.  When my in-laws do stop by, it’s usually for about 10 minutes and then they have to leave. The boys will both look at them and say things like “can’t you stay longer” or “how come you don’t visit me more?” It breaks my heart.  Especially knowing that my own mother lives 4 hours away from us, and my kids know my mother better than they do either of my in-laws, who live about 10 minutes away.

It doesn’t do my husband or I any good to say anything to them, because lets face it. It’s just causes a big fight with them. It makes them stop by three or four times in a ten-day period and then it goes back to what it once was. If my husband does say anything we usually get the old excuse of “well you guys put the boys to bed so early” or “we just don’t have time to stop in” and once in a while “on we’ll stop in soon.”

My in-laws didn’t even see my husband on his birthday. Ever since i moved in with my husband back in 2004, I have always made him a birthday cake for his birthday.  I haven’t missed a year, and they know that. Well this year, Jason’s birthday fell on a Saturday.  Happened to be a weekend we had the step kids, so it was a great birthday for him. Only thing was he had to take my step son to baseball practice, but he didn’t mind since he enjoys going to help out with the team when he can. Well about 2 hours before he had to leave my mother in law called me and said “Hi, we are going to buy a cake and get some ice cream so we can stop by and have cake and ice cream around 5 with Jason and the kids” I told them “well you can stop by if you would like, but we are getting ready for cake and ice cream now, which we already have, you don’t have to buy it, because Jason has to take Tyler to practice for 5:30.” They never stopped by, but did drop a card off for Jason the next day. His mother never even called him or text him on his birthday.  I mean, I couldn’t imagine not calling my son’s on their birthday.

I have gone on long enough about this I guess. My point is that I wish they were more involved with our children.  I know that when the boys are old enough to play sports, they won’t miss out on a game but until then, they are missing out on some great kids! kids that are getting old enough to realize that their grandparents who live 10 minutes away never stop in to see them.

Posted May 11, 2012 by mytwotornados in Uncategorized

A little catching up!   Leave a comment

So a few things have happened since I posted last.

My step son’s little league season has officially started! He’s doing a great job. This is his third year playing and he just gets better every season.  This is his favorite sport, so there really is no surprise for us that he is doing so well.  His first game of the season was a loss, but they bounced right back the next day and won 16-7! He was so excited.  He played first base for the first half of the game, then got switched out to pitch the second half.  He also had a GREAT hit, which brought in a couple runs for the team. I think he scored 5 times that game!! And to top off the best game of the season so far, he got player of the game! He got to bring the game ball home! Its his first game ball, needless to say, we are very proud of how far he has come!

Also at his first game this season, he had a couple of girls from his class there to cheer him on.  I guess that’s a sign that your step-son is growing up when girls start coming around.  After the game, we asked him who the girls were and he “couldn’t remember, but they were just some girls from his class.” Well the very next day while he was on the field warming up, my husband’s phone rang, and low and behold, it was those same girls calling to tell T that they couldn’t make it to the game, but they would see him the next day at school.  It doesn’t seem possible that he already has girls calling for him, I mean he’s only 11 1/2! I still see him as this little boy who thought girls were gross! Let me just say tho, that my husband thought that was pretty cool that “the girls” had called him, I guess that was a proud Dad moment for him.

So Ethan & Nathan turned 4 years old last Tuesday on the 1st of May. First off, I can not believe that my babies are 4. It just doesn’t seem like it has been that long since I had them.  I really feel like we just brought them home from the NICU last year.  I guess that the time sure is going by so fast. We had cake and ice cream with the older kids on the Monday before, since we didn’t have them on their actual birthday.  And of course we had more cake on their birthday, we just wanted to celebrate with the older kids too.  We have a birthday party planned for them for later this month, they are pretty excited about it.  This is the first year that I have let them pick out the theme for their party, which has proven to be interesting, because lets face it, they each have different stuff they are interested in right now. E picked out a “Soccer Ball” party and N wants a “Pirate” party.  So this will be a Pirates playing Soccer birthday party.  I have picked up cup cake toppers for each theme, and the party favors are little treasure chests, filled with soccer & pirate goodies. All I have left to get are the table clothes and paper goods. Oh and the Pinata, which I’m thinking will end up being a soccer ball, unless I can find a pirate themed one.  I guess we’ll see soon.

The twins have a few doctors appointments coming up in the next few weeks, they go to the dentist and for the 4 year well child visit all in the same day, and then the week after that, N goes to the cardiologist, which I’m hoping will be for the last time this year, but as long as nothing has changed for the worse, then I won’t mind going back next year.  Hard to believe that next year when I schedule their well child doctors appointment and other appointments, I’ll have to try to schedule them around their school days.

Not much is going on with my step-daughter right now. Unless you call her attitude and sulking something worth writing about. I mean I love her to pieces, but she has the worst attitude ever lately, and all she seems to do is sulk.  It’s really driving me nuts.  I think a lot of it has to do with her Mother getting ready to have a baby in the next couple months. I mean she is used to us having the twins, and of course she is used to T, cause he has always been around, but I think she is having a hard time adjusting to having a younger sibling at her Mom’s. Especially having a sister, because she won’t be the baby at home any more, and she won’t be the only girl.  She will still be the only girl here tho, and she doesn’t seem to care about that.  She just knows that there are going to be some major changes taking place and she won’t be the center of attention any more.  I feel bad for her, but she needs to grow up.  She’ll love having a little sister just as much if not more than she has enjoyed having the twins around.

Our dog is driving me nuts! She turned 7 in December, and is pretty healthy. But for the past couple of weeks, she is peeing in the house at night! She has never done that! Well, not since we got her house trained when she was about 3 months old anyway. We let her out a ton at night and we have even gotten in the habit of letting her out at night if the boys wake up to use the bathroom.  One of us will get up and go down to let the dog out, but it doesn’t matter.  She will still Pee in the house! To me there is nothing worse than the smell of dog pee! There isn’t anything wrong with her medically either, she is just mad about something.  And if I could figure it out I would change the problem, but nothing has changed in our lives. I keep waiting to notice something different that could be effecting her, but I can’t come up with anything.

My sister and I are still not speaking. Its been since the end of March since we have really spoken.  And it’s not really her, its her husband that is the problem, but there’s nothing I can do about it. She did call me on the boy’s birthday to wish them a happy birthday, but I couldn’t hardly hear her on the phone because she was whispering.  She was afraid her husband would hear her talking to me and that he would be mad at her. I keep asking myself what kind of life she must be living to be afraid of her husband. I know that I wouldn’t stand in a relationship where I was afraid of my partner.  There is more to life then living in fear.  She is a strong women, and I know that some day she will see what is happening.

I think that is about it for now.  My Mom is coming up to visit this weekend and we are all excited about it.  Well the boys don’t know it yet, I’ll wait and tell them before they go to bed on Friday night.  They’ll be excited to wake “Meme” up when they get up Saturday morning.

I will update again after the boys go to their doctors appointments in a week or so! I’ll even post some pics then if I can figure out how!!

Posted May 9, 2012 by mytwotornados in Uncategorized