Broken Hearts   Leave a comment

So things here have been kind of busy lately, and I should be blogging more, but life it getting in the way.  I have a post almost ready about the boys 4th birthday party and about a few other things, I am just waiting to get some pictures back from our photographer.  And I should have them by the end of the week, first of next week, so it’s coming, I promise.

So we had my husband’s older kids on Monday this week. Things were going great, I was playing with the boys and T was watching tv with my husband and H was writing a note to a friend.  All normal things that happen when we have the kids, so I didn’t think anything of it.  I noticed that while H was writing, she kept looking over at me and staring at me, giving me dirty looks, but again, nothing out of the ordinary.  Well when she got done writing her letter, she put it on the drier, which is what she does with stuff she wants to take home.  I forgot it was there and so did she…

Tuesday when I was getting the laundry switched over, a folded piece of paper fell on the floor.  I didn’t notice it at first, but Ethan & Nathan were pretty excited cause they found “a yetter” which translates to a letter.  I unfolded the paper to find the letter that H had written to her friend at school.  I thought it was cute at first, I remember being a little girl writing letters to my friend and bringing them to school the next day.  But what wasn’t cute was what the letter said at the bottom.  Right before she signed her name it said “I hate Andrea” and that was followed up with “she hurts me!”

My heart broke immediately.  I have known for a while that she has been angry at me.  I just don’t know why.  My first thought was to just throw it away, and my second thought was, well lets not do that, just in case she does it again and the note gets into the wrong hands. So when my husband got home from work, I was in tears, and he asked what was wrong, all I could do was give him the note.  He of course was upset as well.

We saw T & H at T’s baseball game last night and Jason asked T if he thought it was true, and he said “absolutely not, Andrea never hurts us.  She might speak to us if we are doing something wrong, but she has never touched us.” And he followed that up with “I love Andrea, she wouldn’t hurt me or Sis.” Which again, broken my heart but for different reasons.  Well when H went over by Jason, who was helping out in the dug out, she spoke to me on the way by, but only to get my attention so she could stick her tongue out at me on the way by.  When she got to Jason, he pulled her aside and said, “we found your note” and she was all smiles, asking if he brought it to her, so she could give it to her friend at school today and he told her NO! She got upset and started crying because it was her letter and not ours and we couldn’t keep it.  She carried on for a few minutes about that, before Jason said “I read it, and so did Andrea.” She just looked at him and when he confronted her about it, she said “I didn’t write that” and she got a little upset with him.  She told him that I must have written it myself because she didn’t do it.

So tonight when Jason calls the kids to say goodnight like he does every night, he is going to talk to their Mom about it.  We certainly are not giving the letter back to her, because if it got into the wrong hands I would be in so much trouble.   Which i believe deep down inside, that’s what she wants.  She doesn’t want her father and I together and she isn’t afraid to say it.  If I thought it would solve any problems, I would pack my boys up for the weekend, and head to my Mother’s house.  But that would be telling her she won, and that’s not what I want to do.  She needs to be told that it is not OK to lie about things like this.  We can’t punish her for not liking me, but we can punish her for lying about me hurting her.  I swear on my own kids lives that I have NEVER laid a finger on that child!

My heart is broken because she is my step daughter and I love her, and there is nothing I can do to make her like me.  I just don’t know what to do anymore, but I do know that under no circumstances, will I EVER be left alone without her, I won’t even sit in the living room with her at my house now, without my husband in the room, because I don’t need to be accused of child abuse.

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Posted May 30, 2012 by mytwotornados in Me, step kids

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