The good, the bad & the ugly!   1 comment

So things haven’t gotten much better since my last post.  We still can’t figure out what has caused my step daughter to lash out at me the way she has been. All in total we found 6 different papers with nasty things written on them about me, and she chose to write on her bedroom wall in two different places that she hates me.  I am more hurt than anything else, and nobody seems to understand why.  I know that she is going thru some stuff at her Mom’s right now, because  her Mom is getting ready to have a baby any day now.  Which will be another little girl for her Mom which makes her not the “baby” in that family any more and also makes her not the only girl in that family. I think that she feels like she is going to be replaced by the baby and I don’t think that her Mom has taken the time to explain to her that the baby isn’t replacing her, that the baby is simply adding to the family.  We went thru a similar situation when we had the twins. My step son felt as thought my husband was replacing him because we were having two boys.  We actually sat both of the kids down and explained to them that we were adding to the family, not replacing them.  They seemed to understand, but we don’t feel as though it is our place to explain the new baby to them.  My step daughter seems to think that the baby will come on visits to our house with them and that the baby somehow belongs to my husband.  I just don’t know how they haven’t explained to her yet that this is not the case.  We have tried to tell her that but she won’t listen.  Either that or she doesn’t want to believe us.  I’m not sure what is going on.

Last week I went on a major cleaning spree, in an effort to de-clutter my house.  God it had gotten pretty bad over the winter, and I was so happy to weed thru things and take care of stuff.  So while I did this, I re-arranged the boys toy room, and got rid of a huge garbage bag of toys, and they don’t even miss them.  So while I went to all the trouble to clean out their toy room, I have tried to get them to understand that when you take something out, you put it back before you dig something else out.  Its seems to be working for the most part, it hasn’t been a week yet, but so far so good.  I’m not spending an hour before bedtime cleaning up the mess that they have made throughout the day any more.  I may have to pick up a random toy here or there, but nothing like i used too.  Ethan has always been pretty good about helping me clean, but not Nathan.  But ever since I cleaned out their toy room, he has been such a big help.  Things may not always go back where they came from, but they are put away which is what matters to me.  As long as they are up off the floor, it takes me maybe 5-10 minutes to put the boys back where they belong.  Last night, when the older kids where here I asked the boys to clean up before supper.  Nathan was doing a great job, but my step daughter would go right behind him and tell him “No, No, No that doesn’t go there” and she would take all the boys he had just put away and throw them back on the floor.  I watched this happen 3 times before I stepped in and told her to leave him alone. He was doing what I had asked him to do and it was not her place to try to Parent him.  She and I are butting heads awful lately.

My stepson’s little league season is a little over half way over.  His team is doing great! And he is playing the best he has ever played!! So proud of him.  his team has 5 wins and he got the first 2 game balls of the season!! He is growing up into such a good kid!! I couldn’t be prouder of him…If only some of his qualities could reflect on his sister we would be all set.

I take Nathan to the cardiologist on Thursday, just a routine appointment really.  We have been going since he was born, started out in the NICU and we started going about every 3 months, then we moved to 6 months, then we finally got to a once a year appointment.  Its kind of funny that if he hadn’t been a preemie, then we never would have known that he had a vein in his heart that was larger than it should be.  It never showed on my prenatal ultra sounds, they just caught it on an ECHO in the NICU.  As he is growing, it is doing what its supposed to tho, so that is great news for us.  Even tho I hope every time we go that it is the last time, I am thankful that it’s really nothing major and nothing to worry about yet.

So I will update again probably Friday.  I will do a recap of the boys 4 year well child visit and Nathan’s cardiologist visit.  And I should have the pictures back from the boy’s birthday party today or tomorrow, so I’ll do a post about that when I get them too!!

 

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Posted June 5, 2012 by mytwotornados in Ethan, Nathan, step kids

One response to “The good, the bad & the ugly!

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  1. Wow, being a teenager was hard enough for me. I con’t even imagine what it would have been like trying to navigate life with two families. My heart goes out to all of you!

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