4 years already!   Leave a comment

So I know what your thinking, your thinking didn’t your kids already turn 4 years old? And your right, my twins turned 4 in May.  However today marks a different 4 years for us.  Today is the 4 year anniversary of my babies coming home from the hospital.  I remember that day like it was yesterday! I also remember not sleeping the night before, and I haven’t slept on the night of the 14th since that very year.  I was so excited to finally be bringing my babies home after a long 108 days in the hospital.  Those 108 days were broken down by 99 days in the most incredible NICU in the whole world, which I know is just my opinion, but it’s how I fell, and the other 9 days were spent n pediatrics!

It was a long journey that summer, patiently waiting for my boys to be healthy enough to come home to us.  I spent about 80 of those days at my Mom’s house, which was about 10 minutes away from the hospital, and the other 28 days I spent home getting things ready for them to finally come home.  I remember how badly I cried on the 4 hour car ride home when I made my first trip home without them.  I felt so empty inside.  I didn’t want to leave them at all when they were in the hospital, but I knew that the only way I was going to be able to get the house ready for them to come home was if I came home a few times and got things straightened up and their crib set up and all their clothes washed.  I had never been so happy to get back to the hospital as I was after that first couple of nights away from them.  I noticed such a big difference in them when I got back that time, I think it’s the first time I had seen that they were bigger then they were when they were born.

So tonight, we’ll have cake and ice cream, and I may even get them each a little something as a small gift from “homecoming day.” I think that no matter how old my babies get or how much they continue to grow, August 15th, will always hold a special place in my heart!


Posted August 15, 2012 by mytwotornados in Ethan, Me, Nathan

Transitions   Leave a comment

It seems like every time i turn around, the boys are going thru a transition of some sorts. I mean they went from sharing a crib to sleeping in separate cribs.  And they didn’t mind. Then they went from bottles to sippy cups. This, we struggled with.  It seems like it took me forever to find a cup that they liked.  I think I tried everything I could find, until I gave in and bought the ones I thought for sure they wouldn’t like.  And turns out I was wrong, they loved them.  One of the next transitions we had was going from cribs to toddler beds.  We got lucky when we got their cribs, they each transitioned into toddler beds.  That was a rather easy transition as well.  They knew they couldn’t get out of their bed and roam freely.  They knew that bedtime ment they had to lay down and go to sleep.  They knew that I was just a few steps away from them, all they had to do was speak to me, and I would hear them on the monitor and come to them if they needed something. I was expecting the worse with that transition, I mean, first off they share a room and I thought for sure they would test us and try to get out and play.
The next transition was from diapers to underwear.  I was not looking forward to potty training.  I think this was harder on me then it was on them.  That is, once I figured out that there was no way they were going to potty train together.  I mean sure, I’m sure a lot of twins do things like this together, but not my twins.  Ethan made this transition quickly.  I’m talking less than 1 week, and he was staying dry even at night and would cry when I put a pull-up on him at night because he didn’t need it.  So after a couple of days of staying dry and night, I put him to bed in underwear and we’ve never looked back.  Sure, we have had our share of accidents, but I think that comes with any child.  I didn’t think I was ever going to get Nathan trained.  Ethan was trained shortly after they turned 3 in May.  Nathan had NO interest at all.  We would try and try and nothing worked.  I gave up on more than one occasion. Finally on New Year’s Day, I said this is it, I am sick of changing pull-ups every few hours.  And when he got up that morning I put him in underwear.  I’m not saying it was as easy as it was with Ethan, but it was easier than I thought it would be.  For one thing, when I trained Ethan we were living at the old house, and we had a bathroom on the first floor, here we weren’t so lucky.  Our only bathroom is on the second floor and we mad a ton of trips up and down the steps.  There were accidents but again, nothing like I had anticipated. He made me proud, that’s for sure.  Within 10 days, he was completely trained for day time.  He would go on long stretches of staying dry at night and then he would be wet for a few mornings in a row.  Finally I told him, if he could stay dry for 7 nights in a row, then the next night he could wear underwear to bed, just like Ethan.  That’s all it took.  He stayed dry for those 7 nights and on the next night, he said “I get to wear underwear just like my Ethan” and he was so excited.  But wouldn’t you know it, that on that first night wearing underwear to bed, he had an accident.  He woke up the next morning in tears, but I didn’t make a big deal of it, and told him that he could still wear big boy underwear to bed.  And that was on April 1.  We have been mostly dry at night ever since then, with the occasional accident in the night, but not that often.  And they both amaze me because there are not many nights that they wake us up to go Pee in the night.  Usually they sleep right thru until at least 5:30, sometimes later before getting up to use the bathroom.  And on those mornings, I count my lucky stars that they usually go back to sleep for an hour or longer!

Our next transition was from toddler beds to twin size beds.  This happened sooner than we had planned on it happening but when you have children who are very tall for their age it happens.  Nathan ran out of room.  Every time he rolled over at night he was awake and that ment no sleep for Mommy and I wasn’t having that.  So off to the furniture store we went and bunk beds it was.  We ordered them, and my step son agreed to sleep on the top bunk, so Ethan went on the bottom bunk, and Nathan went in my step son’s twin bed. It was comforting to know that we were back to sleeping thru the night!! But now our problem is that the bunk beds are very poorly crafted.  They keep falling apart and we are afraid that Ethan, sleeping in the bottom bunk will be hurt.  So the bunk beds are going away. We are saying goodbye to the bunk beds on Thursday, and we are getting a trundle-bed.  Tyler is going back in his twin bed and Ethan and Nathan will share the trundle.  I’m not sure who is sleeping where yet, we’ll let them decide once they get here on Thursday.  But I’m hoping this transition will go as easily as all the others have.

One more transition that we have made recently, is that we have gotten rid of all of our sippy cups.  Last friday (8/10/12) when we got up I opened the cupboard and a couple of cups fell out at me.  And I thought, its time.  So I poured them each a half of a glass of milk and said, your cups stay at the table and you need to drink slowly, there’s no cover.  We have had little spills but nothing major.  And the boys are great about leaving them on the table.  I decided to keep 2 sippy cups, but just for when we are out of the house, I’m not to big on them having open containers in my vehicle, although, I’m sure that will happen soon enough.  My husband learned the hard lesson while I was at a baby shower on sunday, only put as much in the cups as you are willing to clean up…

Our next transition will be a move to a new house, again. and then the next transition will be school starting, 3 weeks from today! That last transition may be a little harder on me then it is on them!!

I know I haven’t hit all of the transition that my boys have had, but I have touched base on the important ones.  I think the only really big one I left out is the one were we took away the boys beloved pacifiers!! Which is a post all on its own if anyone is interested…

Posted August 14, 2012 by mytwotornados in Ethan, family, Me, Nathan, step kids

All in the numbers…   Leave a comment

So I don’t usually do a post like this, but I think its time for it.

In 18 days we are supposed to be moved out of our current rental house, and into another rental.  That wouldn’t be a problem, except we have NO idea where we are going.  We live in such a small town, that there aren’t a lot of rentals.  We have a couple of potential places that are in the works, so we are hoping to hear something soon.

In 21 days, my boys will start school! I have mixed emotions about them going to school.  I am happy that they are going, it’s going to be good for them, but at the same time, I am going to be lonely at home without them. And I know how selfish that sounds, but its the truth.  The boys went to Vacation Bible School for a week, and it was just three hours every afternoon, but I’ll tell you, I didn’t want to be home without them.  The house is just too quiet and I don’t like it.  I can’t get a job until they are in full day kindergarten, so this could be a long year for me.  But I will say, hopefully it will give me a chance to get caught up on somethings around the house (once we get settled into a new house) and for once maybe I’ll actually have my housework done for a change. Or that will be my goal anyway, to get my housework & errands done while the boys are at school in the mornings, then I can just enjoy my afternoons with them after school.

In 2 days, my boys will have been home from the hospital for 4 years! Let me tell you that after spending 108 days in the hospital, I never thought the day would come that I would ever get them home.  We were lucky in the way that they never got re-admitted to the hospital, and for the most part have been pretty healthy ever since they came home.  Seems like Wednesday will be an appropriate day to have some cake.  we always celebrate the 15th of August, and only for that reason.  Our whole life changed on that day, it was up to us to keep things going with the boys, there were no more nurses at our disposal to help us take care of them.

Also in 2 days, I’m going school shopping for the first time.  I have been picking up a few things here and there all summer. We ordered the boys back packs on-line and have gotten their school supplies already, so all I have left to get are clothes. Which I have also been picking up a few things, but I need to get them some more pants and a nice pair of sneakers for each of them.  I think it will be fun to get the shopping done. And also, I’m going with a few girlfriends, so it will be a fun girls day, complete with lunch and pedicures!! I can’t wait!

10 boat payments is all we have left on my husbands lobster boat! I know 10 payments doesn’t seem like a lot for some people, but those 10 payments are actually split up into 5 payments a year so that mean in 2 years, we’ll be house shopping!! I can’t wait to finally have my own place.

Oh and you know what really stinks? Oh the price of lobster that my husband is catching…Our boat price is $1.90/pound.  And it really stinks when you go to the grocery store and see the same exact lobster that my husband is catching is for sale for over $4/pound.  Tell me who’s making the money there, cause it certainly isn’t the lobster fishermen.  They have to go out and pay for bait, fuel and they pay their crew and let me tell you it’s certainly hard when the price is down so low!

Posted August 13, 2012 by mytwotornados in family

summer time and the living is easy   Leave a comment

So I don’t know about all of you guys, but this summer has been awesome so far!! The boys have grown up so much over the past year, that we are able to enjoy so much more this summer!

We have been spending so much time outside that my poor house is a mess.  I have been trying to get up and get motivated in the mornings so that I can get some of my housework done, but lets face it, i don’t have much motivation first thing in the morning so not much has been getting done! But the housework will still be here on rainy days and when summer is over so it’s not that bad.

I would say on average we are spending 3 to 4 days a week at the beach. While the other days are spent hanging around the house.  Thank goodness we got the boys a swing set with their birthday money and we picked up a small inflatable pool for them as well. So when we are home, we are outside. For that matter when we get home from the beach we usually are only inside long enough to re-apply the sun screen and then they head right out to the pool or the swing set!

The beach has been a really great experience this year.  Despite all the complaining i do when I am packing everything up and getting stuff ready, we really do have a great time.  This is the first summer that I can just let the boys go play, they know how far they can go in each direction and they are doing great with listening to me while we are out and about.  One thing I love about living in down east Maine, the beaches that we go to aren’t very busy, so I don’t have to worry about the boys wandering off with other people.  We usually meet up with friends and that makes the day even more enjoyable.  But when we don’t meet up with friends we still have a great time. I can bring a book or a magazine and enjoy them while the boys play, which is a big improvement from last year.

We have been really lucky with the weather lately too, or all summer actually.  Its been in the 70’s to the 80’s most days, and we have had a nice ocean breeze most of the time.  But I guess that’s another benefit of having the ocean in your back yard.  That’s something I may never be willing to part with, its nice to be able to wake up and look out the window onto the ocean every morning! It’s even a nice benefit in the winter cause we don’t get as much snow as they do inland, but that is a whole other post for another day!

The boys have been going on the boat a little bit, with hopes to get to go a little bit more before the end of summer.  They love to “go to work” with Daddy and “Gee” (my father in law) on the boat.  Both of the boys keep saying how they love to “make the monies” just like Daddy.  So when they get off the boat they have been getting paid a little something, which is going right into their savings account.  Won’t be long and we will be sending in for the boys student licenses.  Well, it will be a little while because they have to be 7 or 8, but lets face it, if these next few years go by as fast as the past 4 have, it will seem like its tomorrow!

I have been working a couple of days a week on the boat as well, and I love it! I hadn’t gone to haul with Jason since before I was pregnant with the boys, but I picked it right back up like I hadn’t ever stopped.  Made me realize how much I missed it by staying home with the boys.  I am looking forward to the time in the summers to come where we all get up and head out on the boat at 5, and get home and cleaned up and then head to the beach or the pool! This is what summers are for right, making such great memories with the kids.

Speaking of the kids, we have actually had my step kids a lot more than we normally do over this summer vacation. And its been great! Tyler has been going on the boat a lot with my husband and Hannah has been hanging out at home with the boys and I.  For the most part this goes OK, we have had a couple rough days where she does what she wants and isn’t nice to the boys, but she isn’t getting away with it.  She is learning that there are consequences for her actions when she is at her Dad’s house and she may not like it, but is doing OK with it.

I guess that’s about it for now.  I will try to post again in a few days.  The boys are going to vacation bible school for the first time next week.  It runs from Monday to Friday from 12:30-3:30! it will be a good thing for them.  It will be the first time that they are away from me in a “school” type setting, and I am sure it will be good for all of us! I know I can’t wait to get a few projects done around the house while they are there. I need to get our bedroom painted and the bathroom too.  These have needed to be done since we moved in last fall…nothing like waiting a while to do them!

Posted July 25, 2012 by mytwotornados in Ethan, family, Nathan, step kids

Things I Love   Leave a comment


So we have had a busy couple of weeks around here…Nothing to spectacular, just busy as usual. The regular baseball season is over, and we are about to start the All Star season, T’s first game is this Saturday, and we can’t wait!! They have a pretty awesome team this year, so I imagine that they will do great!!

So the boys are doing and saying a bunch of different things now, and my heart just melts when I hear them talking!!  Here are a few things that I Love:

  • The boys are both taking swim lessons, first time ever, and they are like little fish! They both are able to jump into the pool now, and that’s a pretty big deal if you ask me. Especially since its their first time in a swimming pool!
  • Nathan just randomly comes over to me and gives me hugs and kisses
  • Ethan is constantly telling me “love you too Mama”
  • We went to the beach the other day, and I was amazed at how well they listened to me.  They knew how far they could go in either direction on the beach, and if they went to far, i only had to speak to them.
  • They are growing up, and I don’t have to be right with them at the beach, its nice living in a small town where there are only about 10 people at the beach, and you know them all.
  • I got the letter from school for them both the other day, their first official day of school is Sept. 4th!
  • They will finally play for hours together without fighting, in their toy room!
  • We just ordered the boys their first swing set.  I can’t wait for it to come so we can have something else for the boys to do outside!
  • We had the boys 4 year pics done the other day at the beach, I can’t wait to get them back
  • The boys have been sleeping in till 7 most mornings!! kinda nice since they had been getting up at 5:30!
  • We FINALLY got our tax return back. no thanks to someone’s ex-wife thinking that she can claim both of the kids, when it states clearly in the divorce that we can claim T.
  • We got a new couch and chair for our living room over the weekend, a lot more comfortable than the old ones, and not broken for that matter
  • My parents are coming on Thursday for the weekend, actually heading back home on Monday.
  • Our town is celebrating the 4th of July on the 30th of June, even calling it “summer fest” instead of the 4th

That about sums it up for now! I can’t wait for my parents to get here on Thursday! Mostly excited that my Mom will actually be here for the boys last 2 swim lessons, so maybe she’ll be able to get a few pics of the boys in the pool, I would, but I have to go in with them!


Hope you all have a happy and safe 4th of July!


Posted June 26, 2012 by mytwotornados in Ethan, family, Nathan, step kids

Doctor’s Visits   Leave a comment

So back in May, the boys went to their 4 year well child visit. First off, let me just say I can’t believe they are 4! Where has the time gone.  Seems like just yesterday I was spending the summer at my Mom’s house and driving to the hospital to visit my babies in the NICU 4 times a day.  I honestly can’t believe they are 4 already.

Anyway, when we went to their appointment I finally got to see how much of a difference there was with them.  Ethan is 36.6 pounds and 3 ft. 3.75 inches tall! He’s in the 15% on the growth chart, which is nothing new for him, he has always been on the lower curve, and there have never been any big changes.  Nathan was 55 pounds and 3 ft. 8 inches tall!! Holy cow! He is in the 100% on the growth chart and that’s where he has been for over 2 years! He is also following the same curve on the chart that he always has, although, his height did go up at a little sharper of a curve this year.  Over all, 4 shots later they are both happy and healthy little boys.  Good news for them is that they don’t need any more shots, other than flu shots till they are 11!! Which makes this Mama very happy.  I do have a hard time believe they are so big tho, I mean hard to believe they started out at 2 lb, 13.75 inches and 2 lbs 2 oz and 15 inches.  I just can’t get over it, or maybe I don’t want to see them growing up so quickly…

Last week I took Nathan to the cardiologist.  This is the only specialist we have left, as a result of them being born at 26 weeks & 5 days.  Not bad, or at least I don’t think its all that bad.  Anyway, Nathan went and had his echo done, and turns out he doesn’t have to go back until he is 7! His problem was/is that one of the veins in the upper chambers of his heart was larger than it should have been when he was born.  It started out measuring at a 9.7 (not sure which measurement they use, but I think its millimeters.) Every year when we have gone it has gotten smaller, or most likely stayed the same size but his heart and body is growing so it is measuring the right way, but I’m not sure.  This year he is at a 5.2 so we are getting released for 3 years! I was so proud of him.  So glad it has been nothing to worry about over the years.  Its one of those things that the doctor has said all along that if he hadn’t been born at 26 weeks 5 days and been a preemie, we might have never known about it.

Yesterday we went to the dentist for the first time.  I know, I’m slacking in this department, but we finally went.  They both have all of their baby teeth, and shouldn’t get any more teeth until they are around the age of 6, which will be their first adult teeth that they get.  And she said that by the time they start getting their adult teeth in the back, that their baby teeth will start feeling wiggly.  I can’t believe that she mentioned wiggly teeth to us.  They still seem so little to me.  They both did great in the chair tho, never cried or fussed.  The dentist made it a game for them! Needless to say, they can’t wait to go back, which will be good, since they are both going back in a couple of weeks to get a cavity filled.

I think that’s about it for doctor updates that I have.  Now we are off to enjoy our last summer before they are official school kids…and again, where has the time gone?!?!

Posted June 14, 2012 by mytwotornados in Ethan, Nathan

where do i belong?   Leave a comment

When I first relocated to be with Jason back in 2004 it took me a little while to feel like i belonged here with all of his friends.  Once I did get used to being here, it didn’t take me that long and I made some new friends.  It was very hard to make friends here, it reminds me of high school.  There are a whole bunch of “clicks” of girls and its hard to break into those groups.  Once they got to know me, they let their guard down and I was able to form friendships with most of them.

Most of the people up here were married either with kids, or kids on the way.  I loved being part of their lives as they had their babies.  It was so much fun to visit them and bring them gifts when they started their families.  I thought for sure that once I had children of my own, those friendships would just get stronger.  Man, I couldn’t have been more wrong.  And now I am left asking “where do I belong?”

My kids come first in my life.  And I think as a Mom that is the way it should be.  We don’t have a lot of babysitters around here, and my in-laws have never taken the twins for an over night.  My parents live 4 hours away and come up as often as they can, but I can’t rely on them to always be available to watch my kids.  My husband gets to go out a little more often than I do, and honestly, it’s because I don’t want too.  I’m not a big drinker, so I don’t really want to go out and hang around with people who are drinking.  Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against my friends who like to unwind and have a few drinks, but it’s just not my thing. Even before I had the twins, I wasn’t a big drinker.  I went thru that phase when I turned 21.  I grew out of it.  I think most people do.

When we had the boys and they finally came home from the hospital, I feel like that is when I lost the connection with my friends.  I was home with the boys all the time, and have them on oxygen and monitors made it easier for my friends to come visit me and the boys at home rather than me packing everything up and getting them out.  I had a couple of friends visit when we got home, maybe one time, but that was it.  I think it hurts because every time my friends had babies, I would be there multiple times to visit with them.  As the weeks went by the visitors slowly dwindled away.

This is when I realized who my true friends are.  The ones that don’t mind helping out with the babies and the ones that have been there for me to ask questions or even ask for there help.  And let me just say, the friends that I thought I had before the boys were born are not the same group of people I consider my “Friends” now.  It hurts to know that just because I have kids I have missed out on those friendships.  I was at a wedding a few weeks ago and the people who were their were mostly the friends I had made when I first moved here, as well as a few other friends that I have.  Well I don’t think the whole time we were there that I said more than 5 words to my “old friends” instead they kept looking over in my direction and turning back and talking.  I felt like I was being talked about.

I know it puts my husband in a weird situation, because he is still friends with everyone he was years ago.  I think that men have a different kind of friend ships them women do, and I don’t think its very fair!  I wish it was as easy for us as it is them.

Posted June 9, 2012 by mytwotornados in Me